Saturday, September 03, 2005

Eminent Domain - Update New Orleans

There is a rumor going around Hollywood that Kevin Costner has filed to have New Orleans classified as “condemned property” in order to purchase the entire city. It was all part of a film sequel, “Water World 2 – Kyoto’s Revenge”, set in the remnants of a once thriving metropolis left to ruin after green house gasses finally melted off the polar ice packs and flooded the world. Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco is scheduled to hold a press briefing regarding completion of the sale. Arlo Guthri is said to have filed a protest to that sale on the grounds, submerged as they may be, that he wrote a song about the demise of the City of New Orleans many years earlier and should have first dibs.

It couldn’t be any worse than the first one, the movie that is. Production is set to begin next week which is why so many extras will have the opportunity to be in the film. “We’re looking for the lowest forms of humanity, those who seem suited for living in squalor and their own excrement, some of these folks won’t require any acting skills, wardrobe changes or makeup.”

There is a source, possibly the one who used to call Dan Rather with trustworthy information, who said that the CIA has documented evidence that the breech of the New Orleans levee system was a direct result of militant Muslim terrorists. According to the information, a yet to be released video filmed by tourists who got lost looking for the French Quarter, filmed a large group of foul smelling men wearing sheets wrapped around their heads; all of them urinating on the same part of the levee just prior to its giving way. When asked why all of them had the letter “K” embroidered on their matching robes these visitors to the South had assumed that it meant something in Arabic.

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