Monday, August 31, 2009

Facebook Stalker List


I got one of those Facebook challenge “thingies” from one of my old chiropractors; it should come as no surprise that I have a long list of old chiropractors, not with my screwed up back. I’d noticed her name about a month ago as I went through requests for new friends, clicked on the link and sure enough it was Dr. West, bone cruncher and neck stretcher. I left her a Wall note to let her know I was glad to have run across her.

Dr. West has magical powers other than those listed as “chiropractor” to include Chinese pressure point cures or acupuncture; but I think she tossed a dead chicken over the fence as curls of light blue smoke gently mingled with her incantations, “Evil neck spirits be gone!” I could be wrong about this since my face was buried in the table’s indention each time the “procedure” was performed; but it’s a theory.

I’m not at all sure stalking is the correct description; perhaps a more accurate term would be interested friend, regular viewer, RSS subscriber or any number of non-threatening labels to cover the fact that I enjoy stopping by someone's site. I guess if I stopped twenty seven times in a twenty four hour period every day of the week while wearing panty hose over my face so I wouldn’t be recognized or only visiting their site between two thirty and four in the morning so nobody would see me hanging outside their URL; now that might be considered stalking.

Until a few minutes ago, I didn’t know there was “tool” within Facebook to “uncover” stalkers; dangerous words when applied to the term stalking, pardon the Freudian terminology. This internet history ability shouldn’t surprise me; just that it never dawned on me that it would be so easy to access, much less as a social networking “meme”.

I was a little disappointed, after having reviewed the list; not finding Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep or some of my other regular stalkers. There was one blip on the page, something about NSA that disappeared when I clicked on it; the folks who keep tabs on my every move ever since I voiced my displeasure with the current administration’s Gestapo tactics. That black ops helicopter hovers over my house each time I post a blog; hope the neighbors don’t mind the noise even when it’s in whisper mode.
My militia meetings are held each Wednesday evening at the Houston Texas Temple. I pretend I’m going there as an ordinance worker; but as soon as I pass through the front doors I change into my camouflage uniform and practice rappelling down the steeple, my fully automatic assault rifle over my shoulder and grease paint on my face.

The current “meme”, or social intrusion pointed its digital finger in my direction, a form of spin the bottle if you will; I’m tagged and am supposed to continue by tagging others. I’ve mixed feelings on tagging folks; but must admit that being tagged is flattering to a certain degree, even if it suggests some dark motive such as stalking. I should also point out my limited abilities with Facebook, following simple instructions to continue passing a silly meme along to the next set of victims; I’ll do it via my blog, cut and paste electronically back to Facebook and see what happens.

My list of known stalkers on Facebook:

1 Lucy Stern, 2 Don Guthrie, 3 Cheryl West Hinds (Dr. West), 4 Penny Freeman, 5 Peter James, 6 Leah Christie, 7 Patricia Taylor Carr, 8 Aimee Littau, 9 Amy Chappelle, 10 Wine Commonsew, 11 Jennifer A. Tracy, 12 Mike Souther, 13 Mitsue Ota, 14 Stephen Macklin, 15 Christie Taylor Allred, 16 Elaine H. Webster, 17 Matthew Lopez, 18 Wayne Grantham and 19 Beth Carter.

Here are the questions which accompany the “meme”

→Are you honestly surprised about any of these? Nice to have folks drop by, yes, I’m surprised by most of them.
→How did you meet 4? I met Penny at church, we attend together.
→How much does 1 mean to you? The world and then some.
→Do you know all of 2's secrets? Not even close!
→If you could marry either 1 or 21, who would it be? Well, I am happily married already to number one; but you’ve heard about those “Mormons” lol.
→How far do you think you are on 5's stalkerlist? Probably not very high.
→When is the next time you're going to see 7? Couldn’t say, maybe when we have to report to our parole officer.
→When is the last time you saw 17? I think it was during the Vice raid, hard to say we were all leaning up against a wall while the officers searched us for weapons.
→How do you think 13 feels about you? 姉妹Otaに無料何かが皆について言うために常にあり、友人として持つべき歓喜である。(Sister Ota always has something complimentary to say about everyone and is a delight to have as a friend.)
→Are 11 and 12 anything like each other? They are both great people who enjoy life.
→Describe the relationship between 14 and 20? That’s too easy, I only have 19 on my list

→Would you ever want to date 18? I’m still laughing at the thought…
→What do you think 9's parents are like? I think they are still up for parole; I’ll have to ask.
→Is 10 single? No.
→If you had never met 6, how would your life be different? Who?
→If you could tell 8 one thing right now, what would it be? “Nice shoes”, I’m told women like that. (from the movie The American President)
→What is the funniest thing you've ever heard 16 do? She married Chic’s son. ( that wasn’t very nice )

→How did you meet 15? At church, she’s one of “the other Allreds”

→How did you come to be friends with 9? We had our pictures next to each other on the Post Office bulletin board for most wanted.
→If 3 died, would you be lost? There are lots of other chiropractors out there; but can they toss a chicken over the fence while fixing my neck? lol
→What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen 4 do? Not gonna say it, not gonna say it!
→What is 17's only weakness? Can’t spell, it should have been Lopes.
→Are you friends with any of 19's friends? I know her folks; does that count?

→Do you think 16 and 8 would make a good couple? Only in one of those made for television sit-coms.
→Who is 7 to you? She was either my 4th grade teacher or I met her at a bar, not too sure.
→What is the one thing 20 most exceeds at? Not showing up on a list of stalkers.

→If 1 and 3 hated each other, what would change? I don’t think Lucy would let Dr. West adjust her back anymore.
→Is 11 anything like 18? Hard to say, the age difference is huge.
→If you fell off a bridge, would you trust 13 or 17 to catch you more and why? I would want 17 to dial 911 and hope 13 got out of the way.
→Is 12 fun to be around? I’d hope so, no fun being around a grouch

→If you were stuck on a desert island with all of these people, with no food or water and you were reduced to eating one of them, who would go first? It would have to be Mitsue, I love Japanese food.
→Who do you like most out of all of these? Lucy, she told me she’d beat me up if I answered any other way.

Photo courtesy of Flickr, “Penang Hill Fire & Rescue Volunteer Team having the Rappelling Training session in Fire Station at Paya Terubong, Penang.”

2 comments:

cal141 said...

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