Thursday, April 07, 2011

Think You’re Depressed Now?


Have you seen the commercials for anti-depressant drugs available to the public? Most of these products spots show a middle aged woman standing against a back drop of despair; a lifeless expression on her face as drudgery takes over where the enjoyment of life should have been. Then comes the mandatory inclusion of possible side effects; some people have had slight loss of hearing, vision, an increased level of depression or thoughts of suicide. If you notice any of these changes, not that you’d care since you’re already depressed, please contact your doctor as these symptoms could be life threatening.


The warnings don’t end there; in some cases these products have, on rare occasions, been suspected of causing liver damage, heart failure, sexual dysfunction, gastrointestinal issues such as diarrhea, constipation and severe gas. Some users have complained of dry mouth and these products, in some instances, are associated with the immune system’s reduced ability to fight off colds and other viruses. I’m not making this up ; or am I?


Think you’re depressed now; wait until you take one of these products. If you’re lucky you’ll continue to be simply depressed.


I’m waiting for the next step, a natural progression in advertizing:


“Call the law offices of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe if you or a relative have taken Crappylife, Bored2tears or Ghoahead-Jump Anti-Depressants. Our bored and certified professionals will help get you the money you deserve if you or a loved one committed suicide, been forced to use scissors with rounded tips, become a prisoner of the bathroom due to uncontrolled bowel movements, suffered liver failure or any number of product related injuries. Call us today; nothing like a huge court settlement to brighten your day!”


Disclaimer: Products listed are fictitious and should not be taken even if you are depressed to the point of wanting to end it all. The law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe is fictitious and yet they’ve been credited with legal victories in all 57 states.


This article has been cross posted to The Moral Liberal , a publication whose banner reads, “Defending The Judeo-Christian Ethic, Limited Government, & The American Constitution”.

4 comments:

J said...

What do you know about depression or treatments except what you see on TV? My mother having all her body hair fall out because she was left under an x-ray machine in the 1940s may have something to do with me taking Zoloft for the last 15 years. I would have rather died back then, even if I had liver failure (I am perfectly healthy) a year after. Next time you go bashing something. Do your homework. Here is how "moral" you are. Arguments like yours will spread until the day, I will no longer be able to get Zoloft. You are no doctor and I guess you have never experienced depression. I think I should be able to have the choice to take them. Why would I sue? Why should you cause harm to people like me? Perhaps you make money off of lawsuits? Why?

T. F. Stern said...

J, My goodness, your blasting cap has a very short fuse. I am not for eliminating drugs which may or may not help those who suffer from depression; however, and this was the point of my article, doesn’t it make you even a little concerned when the warnings associated with the “cure” are equal to and sometimes more dangerous? When I hear that the so called cure might kill you or cause you serious injury little red flags go off telling me that perhaps some other form of treatment would be less hazardous.

I’m old enough to recognize depression, having had relatives who truly suffered. My grandmother was institutionalized for many years due to depression. She had watched her twin sister get run over by a trolley car at an early age and she suffered from “survivor’s guilt syndrome” all of her adult life. Don’t get on your high horse and tell me I don’t know about depression. Stick to the information presented and perhaps you would have seen this as an opportunity to laugh rather than blow up.

MK said...

The way the lawyer brigade will have it, we can't breath or step out of the house without a lawyer next to us.

Tigersue said...

All drugs have horrible side effects. As far as depression it comes down to the question will the possibility that the drug will help more than the risk of the side effects. Only a patient and Dr. can determine together what is best, and frankly anyone on antidepressants should be under close supervision anyway.